I'd like to think that when I was younger, I was fairly good looking. A lot has happened that has changed me physically, and well- psychologically. Sometimes I get depressed looking back on old pictures, other times I just laugh at what a goof I was/ am.
This blog is the journey I go through as an individaul, woman, and yes... a mother. The purpose of this blog is for me to find strength
in who I am- no matter the physical appearance. And yes- I have set a goal to work out every day... no matter if it's at home or in a gym. Even if I never get back to who I was, I'll at least feel better about who I am.Another purpose of this tortoreous blog is to show myself and family how much I have grown and how many goals I have attained. At the end of this blog I will post my newest goals, and hope that someday when I look back on this I can feel satisfaction in the accomplishments of all my goals! :)
Big Bend Graduation Picture
I met Joshua April 12, 2005. It was a fast however enjoyable courtship.
I had some "boy" drama when I graduated BBCC and my sister-in-law Sara introduced me to her brother. It was a blinde date... and it was a horrible one.
I knew the moment I saw him getting out of his car in the US Bank parking lot that this was going to be the man I marry.
We were married in the Columbia River Temple in Kennewick Washington.
It was November 12th, 2005 - and it was COLD!
Now I am a wife. Life definitly wasn't what I had anticipated. It was harder- not quite as whimsicle as I had dreamed, yet still amazingly easy and FUN!
Our biggest worries as newly weds were getting to class on time at CWU. I had to still declare a major and my student account was on hold until I did. I went through so many majors/ minors it boggles my mind!
I started out as a theatre major with huge aspirations of becoming a traveling stage actress. Reality definitly kicked me in the gut when I realized that because I was a young married LDS woman, these dreams weren't condusive to my eternal progression and goals. Being married with children was my number one priority.
This is our very first Christmas together. My parents still lived in Idaho at the time... and driving for 8 hours over the pass surely pooped us out.
And then!... Finally in 2007 I was pregnant. It was amazing to be pregnant!
After having Aiden, my body was so wierd. It was difficult for me to get used to my new post-partum body. I did however lose 20 pounds immediately.
Our very first family picture! Aiden was 6 months old.It's sad we waited so long to have a picture taken of all three of us... however I just couldn't stand pictures of myself.
I finally changed my mind when I realized my son would probably like pictures of his mama when he got older.
Understand that I'm in front, therefore the camera is playing a wonderful trick making me appear to be the size of four of my peers.
My first senior year at CWU I was a Broadcast Journalism specialty in the Communications department. I LOVED this major and enjoyed every class. I also made great friends that I'm still in contact with today. This picture was taken in the beginning of Spring Quarter 2008. I had taken Winter 2008 off to adapt to having Aiden while both Josh and I were still students.
I had also had my miscarriage (9 weeks) in the beginning of May 2008 ... several days after this picture. Meaning? I'm pregnant in this picture.
My miscarriage was a very sad moment in Josh and my history together. It was also a moment that brought us together more. We found out we were pregnant on his 25th birthday, and the ironic thing is?- My due date was on my 25th birthday. It was going to be our birthday baby. My sister-in-law Erica had her baby Sophia November 14th. It was a happy moment in the Gaertner family, however I remember crying on the drive home knowing my "due date" was arriving.God works in mysterious ways. When my 25th birthday arrived ... it wasn't a solemn occasion
but a happy one! I found out I was pregnant a third time! I can tell you that we weren't ready when I got pregnant the second time. Aiden was only two months old and I was still hormonely out of whack... but when we found out we were pregnant with Shaylee... it was amazing!
During my pregnancy with Shaylee (through out all of the difficulties and non-difficulties) I worked very hard and diligently on piecing an independant major together. Josh had graduated CWU June 2008, and I still had a quarter left including an internship. This was just not feasible with the distance of Josh's new job at Microsoft. With the help of the Communications department chair my degree was accepted and I graduated as a top non-traditional student June 2009.
This picture is my CWU graduation announcement. I was 25 and 7 months pregnant in the picture. I graduated 9 months pregnant in the blithering heat, sweat soaked and all!
And here I am today. I am now 26 and have two beautiful children. A boy who'll be 2 this month and a baby girl who is 4 months today. I weigh more than I ever imagined I would, however feel happy with all I have. My husband works a good job in today's economy and just recently got a raise. His hours have moved to banker hours, and we now can do normal family activities.
SHORT TERM GOALS:
focus on not yelling... daily
work out daily (even if it's only for a couple of minutes)
continue to deep clean my apartment- it's time to clear out all the crap that's been cluttering our lives!
get Aiden to feel secure in his room again
move Shaylee in w/ Aiden once he settles in his room
finish all my christmas projects
begin projects for Aiden and Shaylee (and Emma! Sidney and Sophia!)
learn to love me a little more every day
LONG TERM GOALS:
find new job for Josh (preferable closer to home)
go house hunting!
get second vehicle... mini van!
lose 60-80 pounds in two years
To be the type of friend I'd like all my friends to be
To not judge while putting myself in other people's situations to help understand their points of view.
Find eternal happiness and satisfaction with the goals I already have attained...
and to give myself a break!
Love Nichole
