Me... New and Old.

I'd like to think that when I was younger, I was fairly good looking. A lot has happened that has changed me physically, and well- psychologically.

Sometimes I get depressed looking back on old pictures, other times I just laugh at what a goof I was/ am.

This blog is the journey I go through as an individaul, woman, and yes... a mother. The purpose of this blog is for me to find strength in who I am- no matter the physical appearance. And yes- I have set a goal to work out every day... no matter if it's at home or in a gym. Even if I never get back to who I was, I'll at least feel better about who I am.

Another purpose of this tortoreous blog is to show myself and family how much I have grown and how many goals I have attained. At the end of this blog I will post my newest goals, and hope that someday when I look back on this I can feel satisfaction in the accomplishments of all my goals! :)

ENJOY!:

Big Bend Graduation Picture

Spring 2005

Age 21

I graduated with my Associates Degree in Arts and Sciences Winter 2004.

Sadly I didn't walk in my cap and gown with my mom, but I still

had the pictures done and felt mighty proud of myself!

I met Joshua April 12, 2005. It was a fast however enjoyable courtship.
I had some "boy" drama when I graduated BBCC and my sister-in-law Sara introduced me to her brother. It was a blinde date... and it was a horrible one.

I knew the moment I saw him getting out of his car in the US Bank parking lot that this was going to be the man I marry.

We were married in the Columbia River Temple in Kennewick Washington.

It was November 12th, 2005 - and it was COLD!

Now I am a wife. Life definitly wasn't what I had anticipated. It was harder- not quite as whimsicle as I had dreamed, yet still amazingly easy and FUN!

Our biggest worries as newly weds were getting to class on time at CWU. I had to still declare a major and my student account was on hold until I did. I went through so many majors/ minors it boggles my mind!

I started out as a theatre major with huge aspirations of becoming a traveling stage actress. Reality definitly kicked me in the gut when I realized that because I was a young married LDS woman, these dreams weren't condusive to my eternal progression and goals. Being married with children was my number one priority.

This is our very first Christmas together. My parents still lived in Idaho at the time... and driving for 8 hours over the pass surely pooped us out.

And then!... Finally in 2007 I was pregnant. It was amazing to be pregnant!

I was sick all the time, but the excitment was truly overwhelming. I was 23 and still had a long way to go with my schooling... but knew I could and would complete my Bachelor's degree.

My little sister decided to get herself hitched July 21st 2007. I was 6 months pregnant.

After having Aiden, my body was so wierd. It was difficult for me to get used to my new post-partum body. I did however lose 20 pounds immediately.

Our very first family picture! Aiden was 6 months old.
It's sad we waited so long to have a picture taken of all three of us... however I just couldn't stand pictures of myself.
I finally changed my mind when I realized my son would probably like pictures of his mama when he got older.



Understand that I'm in front, therefore the camera is playing a wonderful trick making me appear to be the size of four of my peers.
My first senior year at CWU I was a Broadcast Journalism specialty in the Communications department. I LOVED this major and enjoyed every class. I also made great friends that I'm still in contact with today. This picture was taken in the beginning of Spring Quarter 2008. I had taken Winter 2008 off to adapt to having Aiden while both Josh and I were still students.

I had also had my miscarriage (9 weeks) in the beginning of May 2008 ... several days after this picture. Meaning? I'm pregnant in this picture.

My miscarriage was a very sad moment in Josh and my history together. It was also a moment that brought us together more. We found out we were pregnant on his 25th birthday, and the ironic thing is?- My due date was on my 25th birthday. It was going to be our birthday baby. My sister-in-law Erica had her baby Sophia November 14th. It was a happy moment in the Gaertner family, however I remember crying on the drive home knowing my "due date" was arriving.

God works in mysterious ways. When my 25th birthday arrived ... it wasn't a solemn occasion
but a happy one! I found out I was pregnant a third time! I can tell you that we weren't ready when I got pregnant the second time. Aiden was only two months old and I was still hormonely out of whack... but when we found out we were pregnant with Shaylee... it was amazing!

During my pregnancy with Shaylee (through out all of the difficulties and non-difficulties) I worked very hard and diligently on piecing an independant major together. Josh had graduated CWU June 2008, and I still had a quarter left including an internship. This was just not feasible with the distance of Josh's new job at Microsoft. With the help of the Communications department chair my degree was accepted and I graduated as a top non-traditional student June 2009.

This picture is my CWU graduation announcement. I was 25 and 7 months pregnant in the picture. I graduated 9 months pregnant in the blithering heat, sweat soaked and all!

When Shaylee turned 8 weeks old one of Josh's co-workers offered to take our family portrait for free. Of course I'm anti-photographs... but wanted a nice family picture since I've been slacking in taking pics of my children as of late. I was very sick with an inner-uterine infection, and several other post-partum difficulties. My delivery of Shaylee was amazing. The healing time afterward wasn't so much. A price I'd pay over and over again because Shaylee was born healthy and beautiful!

And here I am today. I am now 26 and have two beautiful children. A boy who'll be 2 this month and a baby girl who is 4 months today. I weigh more than I ever imagined I would, however feel happy with all I have. My husband works a good job in today's economy and just recently got a raise. His hours have moved to banker hours, and we now can do normal family activities.

I know that my heavenly father still thinks I'm beautiful... and that I should give myself a break. It is just so difficult sometimes to see my new self and not recognize my own face in the mirror.

At least I have two beautiful children to show for it though! I'd get fat all over again just for them! They're my life ... and I adore them!

SHORT TERM GOALS:

focus on not yelling... daily

work out daily (even if it's only for a couple of minutes)

continue to deep clean my apartment- it's time to clear out all the crap that's been cluttering our lives!

get Aiden to feel secure in his room again

move Shaylee in w/ Aiden once he settles in his room

finish all my christmas projects

begin projects for Aiden and Shaylee (and Emma! Sidney and Sophia!)

learn to love me a little more every day

LONG TERM GOALS:

find new job for Josh (preferable closer to home)

go house hunting!

get second vehicle... mini van!

lose 60-80 pounds in two years

To be the type of friend I'd like all my friends to be

To not judge while putting myself in other people's situations to help understand their points of view.

Find eternal happiness and satisfaction with the goals I already have attained...

and to give myself a break!

Love Nichole

October Fun!

I WANT CANDY!

Brought to you buy:

AIDEN GAERTNER

Aiden went to his very first Halloween party!

I can proudly say that all these lil tweaters are all dressed very modestly!

And cute to boot!

(Unlike any H- party we'd find w/peeps our ages!)

Have I ever mentioned how much my son enjoys singing and dancing?

He's gonna be a BIG Rock Star!

I'm hoping more along the lines of Jericho Road! HAHA!

This picture captures him mid-air while dancing to...

"I Want Candy!"

Aiden also figured out how to bowl!

Freaking amazing kid!

Yup... he's figuring it all out!
We also got to color our very first pumkin together.
I think this had to have been his favorite activity ever!
Of course- Mommy had to help.
If only just a little bit!
In October I was so tired of making food Aiden wouldn't eat, so I tried something new.
We made a kid friendly- mommy happy- veggie pizza together.


...Mostly meaning Aiden ate cheese while mommy made the pizza!

Except for the crust. I don't take ANY credit for that.

Yes- it's home made crust.

And yes- it's really ugly!

BUT- IT SURE WAS NUMMY!!!

Disclaimer: ie. Me

Hello Friends and Family,

I just wanted to thank all of you that took the time to give me your e-mails, and your interest in my blog and family. It's sad that I have had to go private since I know that some people won't be able to access my blog any longer; however on the flip side that is exactly why I've chosen to go this route.

I feel that it's important that I lay it out there what I believe. Not necessarily political view points since I don't really know where I lie, but more along the lines of who I am. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In other words (for non-members mostly) I'm mormon. Now a lot of my views are closely related to those of the church, however I choose to believe the way I do because of how I feel, not because of my family or any other reason.

I bring this up because my integrity has been questioned. I don't work because it is my right as a mother and a wife to stay home and raise my children. Sure I could get a job, but then I wouldn't have say on who spends time w/my children. I wouldn't have control on what my children learn. I wouldn't even be able to control how often they get sick, and with what illnesses they catch. Now I know a lot of diseases ect. are out of my control, but I also know that children in the day care system come home with more sicknesses then I or my children have. Though I do respect and understand why other mother's choose to use day care and don't judge them in the least. I just am lucky enough that I don't have to. To each their own.

Another point I'd like to bring up is this. This is my personal blog. You have been chosen to read my blog because I trust you. Because you are my friend (or beloved family member). Sometimes I may choose to rant. Other times I may choose to brood. Mostly though I'll just share pictures of my beautiful family and the wonderful experiences we share together. Please respect my views. Please understand that I'm a passionate person, and feel things deeply. That said I hope I never recieve anything hurtful or rude in my "comments" box. I trust though, that this won't happen... and I hope you choose to continue to check in with the Josh and Nichole Gaertner Family.

Love Nichole

Blog Going Private!

Hello there friends and family!

I've been talking to my mom and she finally convinced me to go "private." If you would like to have access to my blog and follow my family please leave me your e-mail address. I would love to have your insights.

My comments are moderated, so I will be very careful about not posting them for other's to see. If you are uncomfurtable about leaving your e-mail address w/me on here you can reach me at nikki_anne17@hotmail.com .

The blog will be officially private in one week, Wednesday October 28th.

I hope to "hear" from you all soon.
Love Nichole Gaertner
Wife
Mother
Daughter
Sister
Niece
Cousin
Friend

ps. I have recieved all of your comments and will add you to my blog "friends." Thank you!

Is It Dead Yet?

ARACHNOPHOBIA

I hate spiders. Most women do. Josh killed a huge spider last night, and when I went out to take a picture of it today... this is what I was greeted with.

Some people might think this is silly, but if you KNOW me you know this was very difficult for me to stay coherent and NOT scream my lungs out.

I may have used a certain name in vain... but I honestly was begging for his help. So I apologize if I offend.

ENJOY!

Our Crazy Week!

In a matter of days our life changed, drastically. For all of you who have had to move a child from the safe confines of a crib to the complete freedom of a toddler bed understand this comment!

During a nap, I awoke to a horrible scream. I rushed into Aiden's room to find him on the floor just crying. He had fallen out of his crib and hit his head on the dresser that was up against it. The reason he attempted this spider man type adventure was to attain a red marker daddy left on the dresser. Silly daddy!

The first day we tried the toddler bed he fell out three time during nap time. Mostly due to the gynormous TANTRUM he threw because I woke him up from the floor. That night he did a little better:

***************************************

This is what he looked like when we snuck in to make sure he was ok.

Daddy had to move him to the wall. He's a good daddy. To no avail, however; Aiden was on the floor 20 minutes later.

Shaylee had her baby blessing October 11th 2009. It was beautiful. It was also kind of interesting for Josh because he actually messed up. He forgot to give her her name! LOL! I was so embarrassed for him when the bishop made him start the first part over and giver her her name. Afterwards when we were talking about it, he told me that when he messed up he looked at Shaylee and she smiled. She smiled at her daddy as if she were in on some funny joke. That made him feel much better. He knew it would be okay.

Here she's looking at her auntie Sylvia as she is giving Shaylee fishy faces. For some reason those fishy lips kept her pretty preoccupied throughout the day. Silly girl.

While Josh was dressing Shaylee in her beautiful little blessing dress my parents bought her, I went hunting for her white ruffly butt panty hose. I was so sad when I couldn't find them. And then I remembered that we had some white little booties somewhere... and they were perfect!
Shaylee reminds me of what Emma Smith must have looked liked. I know it's probably a stretch to even think they looked at all similar, but doesn't Shaylee look like a little old pioneer lady? She's so precious to me!
And of course... I just couldn't post another blog w/o adding these last two pictures of my darling bouncy baby boy.
It's the innocence and pure love of this darling little boy that has kept me going.
Now that I have passed through the worst depression and am feeling happy again, I can't help but feel blessed that these are my children.
Thank you god for my beautiful blessings. Thank you for helping me understand what precious gifts they truly are. As the visiting teaching lesson is this month... these are our children to take care of. But not only are they ours... They're our heavenly fathers.

They are pure.

Love Nichole

What Makes Me Happy?...

My Family-

I was thinking about what makes me happiest;

this is what I came up with!

Aiden- my super baby!

...and his blue "Lovey!"

Sometimes he just acts "SO serious!!!"

My mom (and dad) and their love for my children.

Shaylee, and her funny little perks.

She's a hoot- and is only two months old!

She knows whenever her mama is near.
It makes me feel good when she seeks me out!

She's such a happy girl.
Her smiles even make her big brother happy!

My husband. He has his sweet moments.
I even love it when he experiments with his hair.
This is his "Beattles" moment... lol!




.................some other things that make me happy include:
Purring kittens
Strawberry-rhubarb pie- yum!
Chocolate-peanut butter ice cream
Happy tummy-time moments
Being called mommy
Lemon cake cookies- good suggestion Margaret!
Sylvia (my schwester!)
Erica (my der-in-law!)
Jessica (bff since high school- we're different now... but who cares!)
Rachel (my der-in-law x2!)

Sara (gotta love the hubby's little sister!)
Twilight (what can I say? I jumped that bandwagon!)
reading in general
Singing with Lady GAGA... I know- help me
Putting on makeup
Dancing with Aiden... the kid can ROCK YOU!
Heavenly Father and Jesus
The Gospel
Being a Relief Society Teacher- I'm wierd it's true.
Writing in my journal/ or on my blog (very theraputic)
Getting new glasses! (So excited to finally get those!)

..............and many many more things!

love NICHOLE
*not in any particular order- of course! :)

A Revelation- All For Me!

So today I had a home-visiting-counselor come see me, just to help figure out what's going on and to see how I'm doing. Lets just say it ended on a slightly humorous note... at least to me.

Apparently I'm not suffering from Post-Partum Depression. Oh no. It's goes further back then that. Much further. Apparently I'm plagued with the depression of my ancestrial past. And the only way to help cure this horrible burden I've been carrying with me for many years and has been passed down through the generations, is to see a Sha-men.

Apparently what I need is a little something known as... wait for it... "SPIRIT REVIVAL!"

What a freaking relief. I thought all this time I was just depressed with all my problems. Good to know I'm a wonder magnet for all the wonderful ghosts in my ancestrial past. Thanks for that guys. Appreciate it. Good to know I'm not the one screwed up... it was my GREAT-GREAT-GRANDFATHER FRED who cut his thumb off while trying to tie his shoe. Niiice.

So. How does one have spirit revival you wonder? Didn't have a clue there was even such a thing until my wonderful discussion with the counselor. Perform a seyonce. Don't know if I spelled it right, and honestly don't care. Last thing I need is to google that word, right?!

Now two hours later you're wondering how the heck am I reacting to this revelation. Good question. I cried. Not because of my horror. Nope. Because I was PINCHING my thumb hard enough to keep myself from LAUGHING in the poor holisitic woman's face.

Good news... I'm not depressed.
Bad news... I'm haunted.

Which would you rather be?

Reality...

I'm tired.

It sucks.

I cry.

It's true.

I shout.

It's sad.

I beg...

For you.

Please hear-

I scream.

You ignore-

it seems.

I've wished alot...

for different dreams.

I love you...

I do.

I need you...

so true.

I cherish our babes

and adore that you do too.

But please remember this...

when you drive off to work

and enjoy a working shift

I'm nuts with out you.

Vicodin. Friend or Foe?

Oh Vicodin. How you make me feel.

You have been my companion of late,

and thus a big deal.

The pain you have covered has been so great,

but the side affects that come along are definitly for real.

I'm tired of the changes that happen every time.

I'm tired of the craziness that accompanies every rhyme.

One moment I'm up and the next moment down...

three moments happy... four moments- frown.

Oh Vicodin. How you make me feel.

I'm confused by my reaction...

and tired of the drooling action.

Tired and queasy...

flying and breazy...

I have to wonder...

Vicodin, friend or foe?

***********************************************************

If you're asking yourself the question if I'm under the influence of this procarious drug, let me tell you the answer. I am. I had a cyst in a very sensitive area lanced today and when all the meds wore off at home, I woke up in sheer agony. Not used to taking 1000 mg's of vicodin/ hydrocodin (sp?) I've had a crazy, not so fun, experience. LOL.

I have gone from painless to extremely happy to way too loopy. Now I'm nauseated and extremely tired. I know it's lame to blog about something like this... but found it interesting enough to document for myself.

Yes I am high under doctor's permission...?! And no... I don't enjoy it!

Tomorrow if I remember I even posted this... I'll probably delete it... so if you've read it, I hope you've enjoyed it!

Shaylee- The Labor Story

First Gaertner Family Picture!

Shaylee: 8 lbs. 13 oz. 21 in.

Born with black curly hair... what???

It's a horrible family picture of all of us. Mostly me though! In my defense, I'm only two days post-partum. We went to a park in Everette to help appease some boredom!

Aiden is in awe with his baby sister. It's a blessing... sometimes. Other times it can get a little on the scary side. But I just love it when he looks at his sister and says, "What's wrong Shaylee?"

Shaylee isn't much of a binky-baby... she's actually trying to tear it out of her mouth here. I just thought it was so cute because she's pristine in white!

*********************************************************************

Today is Shaylee's four week birthday. Her labor (in comparison to my son's delivery) was quite a bit quicker and not quite as dramatic. Needless to say the epidural worked this time through the pushing and the crowning. What a relief.

I went into "labor" labor Saturday morning at around 2 am. I had been having contractions thirty-minutes apart for a couple of days and they varied in intensity. Saturday morning however seemed to just fly by us. Finally at 6 am the contractions had jumped to five minutes apart and I was becoming overwhelmed with the amount of pain the contractions were giving me. We called family and friends and made arrangements for our son Aiden. I got to the hospital at about a quarter to 8 am. and was at a 4. I could have sworn on my own grave I was at least a 9. No worries, an hour later I was at a 6 and asking for the epidural.

When I was in labor with my son it lasted for four days of excruciating pain. I had even gotten sent home at 4 cm. with several ambien pills to help "sleep." HA! All those pills did for me was see rainbows and pretty colors. Apparently I was too gone out of my reasonable mind to even realize my water had broken. (Which should have been noticable since there was meconium (sp?) stained.) When I had gotten to the hospital with Aiden I was 8 cm. begging for the epidural. This wonderful god-sent medication wore off/ was shut off accidentally twelve hours later... during the crucial time. The pushing time. Crowning was a wonderful feeling, to say the least.

When I got the epidural with Shaylee, it was a completely different experience. The day went by... family stopped by to laugh with us and keep us company. At about 3:30 the nurse checked me again and was amazed I was at a 10. (I sat at 7 cm for quite some time.) She said she wanted to check my pushing "power" and "checked" me with her hand while having me push. She kind of freaked out and told me to stop pushing because I had brought the baby completely down and the doctor wasn't even at the hospital yet. That one push had moved Shaylee under my pelvis bone and her head was now visible. The doctor got there at about 3:45 pm and Shaylee was born at 3:54.

It was such a blessing for me to be completely coherent through this delivery. With my son I was so exhausted (I pushed for three hours with him) that I don't remember the delivery other then the fact that it was utter hell. I was able to hold Shaylee, and laugh with the doctor and nurses. I witnessed Josh cut her umbilical cord. I even got to have the nurse show me the placenta and amniotic sac. It really was an awesome experience.

The next day at about 3:30 pm I was discharged and excited to see my 19 month old son. I was excited to see him react with his baby sister... and am amazed at how tender he is with her. Aiden is a good big brother and he just loves to hold his "sissy" and give her kisses.

Shaylee enjoys sitting in her small rainforest swing. Aiden also enjoys pushing her while she is in her small swing. Mommy doesn't enjoy that much at all!

Like Aiden, Shaylee is in wonderment of her father. She started smiling recently... and her daddy is the best at getting big 'ol grins out of her!



Shaylee actually has big feet for her itty bitty size... my favorite features on her are her finger and toe nails. They are perfectly manicured and just so petite. I can't help but show them off!

********************************************************************
RECOVERY!

On the recovery side of things I've been up and going pretty much since I've been home from the hospital. Apparently that was just a bit too much because now (while I'm four weeks post-partum) I'm having to deal with issues that should have been resolved after the second week. Apparently I have endometritis. This is an infection inside my uterus. I guess it isn't as uncommon as I thought, but my doctor definitly had the snot scared out of me... why isn't this surprising? So far my dr. has been so right on about everything, right? Anyway- so now I'm taking three antibiotics three times a day and if the womanly issues and cramping hasn't subsided then they will give me an ultra sound and possibly a DNC. HMMM. This doesn't sound very exciting AT ALL.



Breast feeding is working for me! Yay! I wasn't able to breast feed with Aiden... so to all you expectant mother's or mother's who are preparing for a second child... never give up! These suckers are made to work, just got to give 'em a chance! :)

A Quick Glimpse at the Newborn

I don't have a lot of time right now to actually go into my labor story... WHICH WAS AMAZING btw!!! My toddler is trying to get me to play with him, and who can resist that? So... here's three pics of my new baby girl. She is huge and is a doll! The doctors over here should all quit practicing and become lawyers cause they sure are good and fabricating the truth. PSH! haha! jk

The Big Day

I love it when I get special treatment! Being 9-months pregnant during a hot sweltering graduation ceremony has its perks. I was the very first name called ... woot woot! And then I was permitted to leave an hour early. Thanks peoples! I can't believe how sweaty I was when I took off the grad gown. I litterally looked like a fat man that just attempted a jog around the block. You know... when the pit stains have gathered UNDER the breasts! EUW GROSS! I was sooo embarrassed! lol! And then to make matters worse...someone didn't even know I was pregnant. NOOO... I'M JUST THE SIZE OF A BUS FOR THE HECK OF IT! Come on people. Seri0usly? Maybe they're just uneducated on what fat people really look like... it's not a beach ball in the front ...I promise! HAHA!

~Nichole

Facebook?... and Shaylee

Okay ... So I finally caved at many people's requests and created a Facebook. Let me tell you something peoples- Y0u better love me because I am just NOT the "networking" type apparently. I can honestly say I was a little overwhelmed by the whopping two hours I've put into it so far. What's wrong with blogging again? I think I might just stick to that mostly. Haha!

Now to Shaylee. She does NOT have a Facebook...that would be just a little redundant I believe! :) Actually she does have her official first pictures though! We had a 3-D ultra sound done of her, and did anyone ever tell you that's where nightmares come from? Well, now I've told you. If you haven't guessed, I'm not the biggest fan of the whole computerized digital image in 3-D. I think I would have rather waited until she was delivered (football shaped head and all!). The first image the rad-tech brought up was of her face smashed into the uterine wall... with her mouth COMPLETELY open and her face contorted. Imagine a baby screaming in terror. YUP! A little disturbing right? And then. Oh man, and then. The next image had me belly laughing and roaring for ten minutes straight. (Poor lady just trying to do her job.) It looked as if someone had taken a slow motion shot of her getting punched on the left side of her face- and her entire right side of her face was doing the whole spit flying out and cheeks flabbing thing when you get punched. I thought I was going to die. Now that's an image I wanted. Too bad it wasn't cute enough for the techy to print for me. *sigh. I guess I'll have to do with the images I did get. The ones that look as if she has horns and no head due to missing data and uternine wall interference. What's a mom to do?

Now...to the REAL update. :) Sorry, I'm feeling a little chatty today. If we stay with the changed due date (the one the specialists are going by) then Shaylee has bumped up to the 40th percentile. AMAAAAAAZING!!!!!! Totally pumped about that transition. However my doctor is still going by the original due date which still leaves her ITSY BITSY... but we are not to worry. According to all the doctors, she's STILL consistently growing and it looks as if I'm 8 and 1/2 months pregnant... can't really tell you what exact week though. Either way I'll probably be in labor, pushing out a volley ball from an area that shouldn't have to EVER experience that type of trauma at the end of July.

Wish us luck! :)
Love Nichole
ps. I have to once again announce that... I'M FINALLY GRADUATING SATURDAY!!!! *Woot Woot!!! I also have to have a chart synapses with me JUST IN CASE I go into labor in Ellensburg. Hmmm? Maybe I should attempt a marathon? HAHA!

Senior/ Pregnant Pictures... Finally

Compliments of my sister Sylvia:

This is my broody sexy pregger mama! HAHA!

I think I'm trying to be mysterious... maybe not really working for me, eh? HAHA!

And here I'm just feeling foolish!!! :)

Ps. Update on Shaylee is definitly in the near future. We have our next ultra sound this Friday. My doctor and my specialist have conflicting view points ...so I'm just holding on to the fact that Shaylee is growing consistantly...and is ALWAYS kicking me either the stomach or bladder. Good news, right? HAHA

Love Nichole

...She Has I.U.G.R.

I know it's been FOREVER since I've blogged, and even added pictures; however in my defense it's been a very stressful time for our little family. A lot has happened- or "not" happened since I last blogged, and I've been fully informed of our situation as of late...but to give you a better picture of our last month I'll just go in chronological order of our prenatal adventures.

In my last blog I made the announcement that we're having a little girl, and that she was growing "slowly" and is considered small. I also mentioned that I wasn't going to announce her name yet... but a lot of things changed my perspective and guess what. She has a name, so I'm going to use it! :) We named her Shaylee Elizabeth. And she's a fighter.

Shaylee has what's called Inner Uterine Growth Restriction. (Well up until yesterday that is...) We had our third ultra sound three? weeks ago. The next day I got a call from a nurse who casually explained to me (over the friggin phone mind you) that our child is further behind (by one day) in her tracked growth rate and is considered to be in the 6th percentile. 50% is average and 100% is huge, so as you can imagine... my ears shut down and I didn't hear anything else she was saying. How can the radiologist say just the day before that our child is small but okay and then a nurse (NOT MY DOCTOR) calls and says that my child is falling further behind ... but not to worry. WRONG!

I went in the next morning after several different conversations with DIFFERENT NURSES. When my doctor entered the room I could have just imploded because she mentioned that she "called me in" to discuss the ultra sound with me. HELLO MISS DOCTOR LADY... I called MYSELF IN... you didn't even give me the courtesy of talking to me over the phone. You just handed me over to a nurse. Thanks for that. HUMPF. Anyway, tantrums aside, she explained to me that Shaylee has Inner Uterine Growth Restriction (IUGR) and that they are concerned about her getting enough nutrtition. Which in turn leads to more problems such as getting enough oxygen to her brain. Then she asked me questions like if I really do smoke, or do drugs. PFFF! Please. Now thats a funny thought. I can just picture me now, toking up in the bathroom. To tell you the truth... I don't even know what "toking up" means. HA!

So, IUGR is a term that kind of combines a million and one different problems into one fancy term. At this point all we know is that Shaylee is small and that many IUGR babies are delivered extremely early and put in NICU. The reason for the premature birth however isn't due to the mother going into labor. It's because the doctors have to take the baby out of the mother before inner uterine "demise". WHAT??? Needless to say, all this information turned me into a complete BASKET CASE for two weeks. I was then referred to a Perinatal Specialist at Swedish Hospital in Seattle.

And here we are up to date. I had my fourth ultra sound yesterday at Swedish Hospital, and then had a consultation with the nicest specialist in the world. They checked the input/ output of the blood supply (flow) in the umbilical cord, and also checked the placenta for any damage or implantation defects. They checked Shaylee's heart, brain, kidney's, and amniotic fluid. Which are all doing fine. Nothing scary or out of the ordinary going on there. Anyway, long agonizing story short... Shaylee's due date could honestly be off and so we're going to start anticipating July 30th instead of the 23rd. This moves Shaylee from critical to a more normal small size. That one week change jumps her up to 24% in size from the 6% she's been sitting at. She's still small, but this size is obviously better... and moves her out of the IUGR classification. (Meaning no C-section or NICU!!!! YAY!) Anyway, if her original due date really is the 23rd than she's still critically small and I don't really know where we go from there. We will have a better idea and confirmation June 5th when I have my 5th ultra sound.

My gut and motherly intuition tells me that Shaylee will be okay. She's small, but heck. My son was 9 pounds. I think maybe this could be a blessing right? :) Gotta think positive here! Plus, I've felt as if my due date was off the entire time ... and was getting frustrated with my doctor because she just doesn't seem to listen to me or my concerns. *Sigh.

Well, that's the news for now. Keep Shaylee in your prayers ... because this "little" girl is a fighter, and I can't wait to meet her ... whenever that date may be!

Love Nichole

Spring Break ... and Updates

For all of you wonderful patient peoples out there in the world today, I haven't forgotten about actually coming out about my baby's sex! This isn't a picture of my ultra sound, just a random google find that I thought was a pretty good representation of what our beautiful baby looked like during our ultra sound.

So... the dish! It's a GIRL! Surprise! :) I'm pretty pumped. One of each to keep me busy and satisfied for the next couple of years before we ever mention having a child again. And seriously... I wouldn't count on me going for a third child for like three or five years! HAHA! Her name is... not telling! But we do have a name for her. I actually refer to her by her name already but I've got to keep it on the dow- low so no random stranger steals it. Wouldn't that just start a fire in your pants? I know I'd go ape crazy! :) Niiice.

Anywho. There is a concern about her growth right now and I'm trying not to dwell on it. I'm selling my Britney Spears ticket to one of my BFF's friends so she can still go w/o me. I'm trying to focus primarily on gaining healthy weight (as if I REALLY need to ... really. ) and just keep my nutrition and health up to par because she's a little small. The health care over on this side of the mountains is so different from Dr. Herman in Ellensburg... WHOM I MISS INCREDIBLY! Best doctor in the world! LOL! The doctor and radiologist have me going in for a second ultra sound to measure her growth rate. I know... at least I get more pictures out it, right? Aiden was almost 9 pounds (8 lbs. 13 oz.) so having a smaller baby may just be a treat for me. I wouldn't be pushing for 3 hours again. (HOPEFULLY!!!) So right now we are a little concerned, but we pray for our little baby girl every night and know that everything will be fine. The doctors are just being cautious... right?

On a happier note! Aiden's hair got absolutely massacred by my mom a week ago, and we had an emergency run to Super Cuts! My sister had an absolute HAY DAY playing and taking pictures with Aiden when we came to Moses Lake this weekend. Isn't he just getting SOO big? My heart is like BREAKING at how old he looks. *Sigh! At least he's handsome! HAHA!