Shaylee has the most amazing laugh if you can get her to laugh. It is very husky and full sounding. Her eyes light up and her face splits in half. She throws her back and laughs with vigor. I adore her laugh, and enjoy making her do it.
The thing though, is that at three ... she already is set in her personality. She is a very cautious child. Very shy and doesn't let people in easily. Her best friend is Aiden- he is her champion and she mimic's everything that he does and says. This brightens my soul. Aiden is also her worst enemy at times. She has a switch that can flip at the blink of an eye. She will laugh one second and then flip on to full on attack mode.
This is what makes my days so difficult.
I know some of this is personality, but most of it is her age. She is only three ... but thinks she is Aiden's age. They are a year and a half apart yet are the exact same weight and height. She is a four and a half year old. But not really. This is where the frustration is stemming from. Her communication was a little behind to begin with, but now that she is speaking very well she is coming across other road blocks in her development. Not because she is late... but because she wants and YEARNS to be where her brother is. And Aiden doesn't understand that she isn't either.
Aiden is a very bright four year old. But not only is he older and thinks that they are the same... he is a boy. His development into becoming a little boy from a toddler is so obvious right now. Today he asked me if he was going to school today. I didn't even know he knew school existed, much less what day it started. I had to break the news that he doesn't get to go until next year. Maybe choosing not to enroll them into preschool was a mistake.
Today I sat with them and did an hour of "preschool" all by ourselves. I have a lot to work on patience wise. I see a lot of me in Aiden. I was/ am? dyslexic but was taught how to overcome it by third grade. I think my son may be dyslexic. I NEED to remember this as I work with him daily on our studies. Not get mad at him... but be more understanding. Why am I struggling with this? WHY?
I love him so much too. He is a pleaser. He TRIES to make me laugh and happy. And I do laugh, but I need to laugh more. He really does enjoy sitting with me and learning how to write. I didn't even know he could hold a pen properly... and write?! He can write if I give him something to copy. Wow. I really missed out on the preschool coop because of the move and having Lyndi. I commend the other mom's that did such a great job with him. My little boy wrote a four today! And a six! And a five!!! It makes my heart smile. His four was backwards and I found out his five was supposed to be a two... but that's what makes watching his learn so fun. Also what makes me know I need to really zone in on his one on one education with me.
I am his mother. I have the power to help him succeed.
Shaylee really enjoyed coloring with us. I worked with her too... but her mommy-made worksheets were a little different from Aiden's. I want her to be exposed, but I am not going to push. She knows her ABC's when pointed out, but she won't perform under pressure. So I think I will keep it a game with her... fun time to learn with brother and mommy.
Lyndi is funny. She just sat in her high chair and played with some baby snacks the entire hour. She really is my easy one right now. Josh actually said for the first time yesterday that he believes we are done having children.
Part of me is relieved by this revelation. But part of me is really sad too. Like we might be missing out on another amazing little person up there. I just know and have been inspired that right now is just NOT that time. Josh is afraid that Lyndi is going to be just as spirited as Aiden and Shaylee. If that is the case, then she will probably be our last. I love all three so much... but mentally I can only take so much. Being a mommy is hard work. I think having a career would be much easier to be honest. There's so much repsonsibility here in the home... and if my children grow up messed up- that's on me. Not some day care. Nope, me.
I hope my children know I do love them. That Shaylee knows I am being firm with her for her own good. Not that I am trying to take away a part of her by bending her will or whatever. She needs to learn to obey rules and have respect. Those ARE the fundamentals of life. She won't succeed with out those fundamentals. I will continue to work with her... and continue to LOVE and ADORE her... but I think I need to up the words of affirmation with her. More hugging. More mommy/ sissy time. I think that should help.
And then maybe she will want to be my little friend again. Because I sure miss her loving on me and thinking I am her World. Three is too young to not want her mama anymore.
Finally daddy graduated with 2 
