The Love of a Mother...

Well I am finally sitting down to write down a little bit about what has been going on. I still would like to keep some of our worry private but I can not just sit here and think with out trying to sort through my feelings.

I am torn.

Our last ultra sound we had a slight worry that escalated until we had another this morning. We were told that everything with baby was moving along great and what we thought may be missing was not. It was a happy morning full of relief and joy.

And then I got a phone call.

Apparently everything we worried about is still a concern- however it could be something more dramatic OR nothing at all.

We just don't know... and that's the part that is tearing me up.

I have this feeling of sadness that just won't leave my chest. I already feel as if I KNOW this little baby girl and my ideas about how our life will be continue to change. I'm okay with the change- come what may and love it. It's limbo. I feel like so many aspects of our life are in limbo right now. The house (which we've decided to walk away from, it's just a matter of doing the paperwork now but there isn't any hurry), my parent's health, and now this little girl.

My mom tells me daily that this is a trial but to keep my faith because everything will be okay, and I KNOW in my heart that it will. It is amazing how much my testimony has grown during these last six months and how frequently I feel the

Lord's arms wrapped around me in the comfort of the Spirit. There is a purpose and I know we are supposed to be facing these trials right now, but my heart still aches.

So I pray for my beautiful little daughter that I hope to meet when the time comes. I pray for comfort and for peace. And mostly, I pray for the wisdom to understand all that may or may not befall us.

LINDY MARIE 20 weeks

Love mommy

Please remember this is a sensitive time for me right now, comments of support and comfort are encouraged; however please refrain from analyzing our ultra sound and sharing information that could cause more worries. Thank you! :)

It's a....GIRL!

Yesterday we had our ultra sound and got to see our new baby! And as far as we can tell at this point this baby is more likely a girl. She flipped over and refused to let us see her face about a quarter of the way through the procedure and she kept her legs crossed at either her ankles or knees the entire time. :) So far she isn't anything like my other two children!

There still may be a chance that she is actually a he because the little boy part may have been tucked up under his belly. But that's okay because we are having another ultra sound done on the 20th for entirely different reasons. Then we'll be able to hopefully confirm gender.

As of right now her name is Lindy Marie. :)

Now there is a small blip in this excitement because as I have mentioned before we have to go back in and have another ultra sound. At this point I won't be going into detail about what could be wrong because we haven't had confirmation yet. Just know I will absolutely and positively ADORE this child and she will be utterly beautiful. I know that the Lord will not give us anything we can't handle, and this child will be a blessing in our lives. :)

We are excited to meet you little Ms. Lindy!

Love your waiting family!